Self-Love Journey, Day 1

 August 12, 2022

On the way to Connecticut for my RDN internship, I had this insane idea. Well it wasn't too insane, but it was just crazy enough it might work. I had the idea that I could use a radical mix of self love and taking it one small step at a time to getting healthy. Not a diet, not a lifestyle change. Deeper. I wanted to go deep enough to see into the reaches of my soul...then find out what was holding me back in that moment from keeping me from my dreams. 

I hope I'm not the only one standing like a centennial in my own way. I think that guard is there to protect me. From risk, from danger, from being seen in ways I'm just not ready to...? Who knows. Regardless, the purpose of this blog is to dive deep, uncover what needs uncovered so I can love myself. But the flip side of that is my health. I don't have a thyroid anymore (thanks thyroid cancer). And that limits my life a lot. It limits my energy, how hard I can push myself without ramifications, how much I can see in one day of travel...and even how much healthy food I eat. But I figure my ability to relate to EVERY. ONE. WHO. IS. TIRED. is my secret super power. Who wants to take health advice from someone who has never experienced fatigue or that insane need to eat because your body is so tired all you want is processed junk? When I was recovering from thyroid cancer, all I wanted was a doctor who knew what it was like to be tired-THYROID tired. But because they didn't, they would give me vague platitudes like, sleep more, exercise more, get outside, take this pill, take that pill, eat better. Duh Sherlock. If I could do those things and it would help me feel better, don't you think I would? So if I struggle with food EVERY. DAY., I think it paves the path for me to help others who feel the same. After all, if I can do it, it 10000% means others can too!

I'm not a dietitian yet. But I'm on my way to become one. So I'm practicing on my first patient: me. Come with me as I challenge my inner demons who are only consoled by chips and mango salsa from Costco. Watch me as I try and fail again and again. And yes I will fail. Several times. But I don't stay down long. Remember thyroid cancer? Instead of letting it beat me and limit who I could become because I was tired, I went back to school and graduated with a 3.9 GPA in some of the hardest chemistry and biology courses offered. When I applied for dietetic internships I was extremely qualified for, I didn't get a single one of them. Instead of giving up on my dream to become a dietitian, I applied to every single opening I could find until one took me. And you know what? I found one. I DO NOT GIVE UP. And now it's time to turn that determination and shine it on what I have struggled with the most: living a healthy life. Come with me. Maybe you just need someone to show you it is possible. I'm 99% positive it is (in science we can never be 100% right?)

 Let's find out!